At long last, Microsoft has revealed the über-secret rationale behind eschewing an HDMI connection for both their forthcoming HD-DVD player and their Fall, 1080p update. Are you ready to hear why?

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In the first year of a console’s release, every game gets a measure of attention that it would not normally enjoy later in that machine’s lifecycle. Even so, a dollop of controversy can’t help but bolster a game’s buzz, right? Case in point, Enchanted Arms—a by-the-numbers, turn-based, Japanese RPG that has increased its profile (at least in cyberspace) by the inclusion of a player-controlled character with a fairly uncommon twist. See, Makoto, a member of your initial party in Enchanted Arms, is unabashedly homosexual and has a thing for one of the other members of your party, Toya.

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Microsoft has been threatening, ever since J Allard plopped down on the stage at E3 2005 in his fashionable hoodie/blazer combo, to give Xbox 360 users the chance—nay, the power—to create their own content and unleash it on an unsuspecting cyberpublic. Yeah, I scoffed at the time, due largely to the hamfisted presentation more than the concept itself. It was unclear what form this user-created content would take (other than we knew for sure we’d be getting a sweet-ass Amped 2 scarf from Ve1ocityGir1). In fact, a year later, following E3 2006, I was more or less convinced that their vision for sharing user content had been relegated to using the Xbox Live Vision Camera to change your gamerpic into a glorious snapshot of your genitals.

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With the average age of a video game player on the rise, and with Microsoft’s pending plan for pushing Live Anywhere to every digital device from your cell phone to your UltraVibe Pleasure 2000™, the corporate board room is about to get a whole lot more entertaining.

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With each new game promoted in EA’s current ad campaign, my partially digested vittles creep ever closer to the ole uvula. Surely I’m not the only one cynical enough to give this approach to advertising a huge eyeroll. You’ve likely seen at least the one for Superman (if not, here it is with the other in the series thus far, NCAA):

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Let me begin. The internets are rife with rumors that Nintendo plans to sweeten the Wii pot by reverting to a time-honored console tradition: the pack-in. Those of you old enough to remember the 8-bit era (or frankly, even the 16-bit era) surely recall weighing the virtues of the Action Set vs. the Sports Set vs. the Deluxe Set when planning your video game purchase. (Of course, we all know the Action Set was where the true value was–you got Super Mario Bros. and Duck hunt and didn’t have to spend any time trying to figure out just what the fuck R.O.B. was supposed to do.)

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There are two things you must know before we begin: 

1. I hate baseball. I hate almost everything about baseball. Scratch that–I hate everything about baseball. I won’t watch it. I won’t play it. My contempt for America’s pastime runs so deep, that in the long, hot months between the NBA Finals and the opening of the college football season, I can actually be found doing activities . . . outside.
2. However, I love Xbox 360 Gamerpoints. I love everything about them. I love the unmatched feeling of accomplishment I get when I see the little achievement indicator pop up–informing me that I am truly in a select group of elite and skilled gamers who have successfully spent four hours in front of their television, repeatedly pressing the “A” button in order to simulate 30 years of a Madden franchise and collect their 400 points. What a rush.

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