The Uncharted 3 multiplayer beta is going on right now—for PlayStation+ members and those who bought inFAMOUS 2. If neither of those describes you, don’t despair. We have a bushel of codes to give away to the first couple dozen people who email us at feedback@thefanboys.com with “Uncharted 3″ in the subject line. We’ll email you back a code and you can join us in the paincave!

Another year, another eight-dozen hours of the big news sites debating and filibustering over their games of the year lists. Meanwhile, I’m once again more interested to hear the opinions on the year in gaming from the folks whose opinions I really trust (and who pay cash money for their own games).

While you eagerly await our Fifth Annual Sassy Awards (recording this week!), we’ve compiled a group of similar year-end awards from some of our indie-podcasting comrades. For those shows who do a list of 10 or more, they’re whittled down to the top five selections. You’ll also find handy links to their sites, in case you want to give a listen and hear their rationale. Have a podcast and a list of your own awards? Shoot us an email and we’ll add them below.

Critical Strike

Kyle:
1. Mass Effect 2
2. Super Street Fighter IV
3. MAG
4. Minecraft
5. World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Josh:
1. Super Street Fighter IV
2. Starcraft 2
3. Civilization V
4. White Knight Chronicles
5. 3D Dot Game Heroes

The Digital Cowboys

Alex: Rock Band 3
Tony: Bioshock 2

Drunken Monkey Tech

Winner: Gran Turismo 5
Runner-up: Halo: Reach

Gamer Dork

Xibxang: Heavy Rain
Ratso: Mass Effect 2

Player One Podcast

Greg Ford
1. Red Dead Redemption
2. Heavy Rain
3. Super Mario Galaxy 2
4. Scott Pilgrim vs The World
5. Donkey Kong Country Returns

CJ
1. Rock Band 3
2. Pac Man CE DX
3. Alan Wake
4. Hydro Thunder Hurricane
5. Split / Second

Greg Sewart
1. Split / Second
2. Gran Turismo 5
3. Bioshock 2
4. Heavy Rain
5. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

Phil
1. Picross 3D
2. Pac Man CE DX
3. Red Dead Redemption
4. Bit.Trip Runner
5. Super Mario Galaxy 2

PSNerds

Pete:
1. Gran Turismo 5
2. MAG
3. Super Street Fighter IV
4. Starcraft 2
5. Final Fantasy XIII

Billy:
1. Mass Effect 2
2. Minecraft
3. Battlefield Bad Company 2
4. Super Street Fighter IV
5. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

The Rumble Pack

Kaz:
1. Mass Effect 2
2. Battlefield Bad Company 2
3. Civilization V
4. Starcraft 2
5. Alan Wake

Tony:
1. Mass Effect 2
2. Red Dead Redemption
3. Civilization V
4. World of Warcraft: Cataclysm
5. Limbo

Justin:
1. Limbo
2. Super Mario Galaxy 2
3. Halo: Reach
4. Joe Danger
5. Heavy Rain

Tom:
1. Mass Effect 2
2. Heavy Rain
3. Alan Wake
4. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
5. Deadly Premonition

Joypod

Michael: Dragon Quest IX
David: Red Dead Redemption

The Overseas Connection

Skullduggerer: Alan Wake
CP Matthew: Mass Effect 2
B1gBadDaddy: Red Dead Redemption
Murphys Law: Mass Effect 2

Big Red Potion

Winner (tie): Demon’s Souls / Mass Effect 2

4th String

Todd: NCAA 11
Greg: NBA 2K11
Mike: NHL 11

That Gamer Podcast

Ben: Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood
Brandon: Mass Effect 2

The Uncanny Gamers

Phoenix:
1. Red Dead Redemption
2. Halo: Reach
3. Fable 3
4. Call of Duty: Black Ops
5. Monopoly

Gemini:
1. Red Dead Redemption
2. Split / Second
3. Blur
4. Halo: Reach
5. ilomilo

Want in on the Crackdown 2 demo early? Like… NOW? We have ten codes to give away to the first ten people to send us an email to feedback@thefanboys.com Aaaaaaaaand, they’re gone. But don’t despair–the other podcasts at Platform Nation have codes too. Go give them a shot!

Bizarre Creations’ upcoming combat racer, Blur, has an Xbox 360 beta starting on March 8th–and we have 50 codes to give away. Here’s what you have to do: nothing. Just be one of the first 50 folks to reply below with an email address where we can send your code, and we’ll hook you up. (of course, if you wanted to show your gratitude with an iTunes review or something like that–we won’t stop you, either) See you on the streets!

You’ve undoubtedly pored over, argued over, and fapped over the 2009 game awards bestowed by all the major gaming news outlets by now. But are you caught up on the selections of the people who really matter (namely, those who actually have to buy their own goddamn games and don’t get paid to play them)? If not, have I got a swell proposition for you…

While you eagerly await our Fourth Annual Sassy Awards (which we plan to record next week, after yet another week hiatus)–the game-of-the-year awards the internet has declared “the definitive word on the year’s finest bits of electronic entertainment,” we’ve compiled a group of similar year-end awards from some of our indie-podcasting comrades. For those shows who do a list of 10 or more, they’re whittled down to the top five selections. You’ll also find handy links to their sites, in case you want to give a listen and hear their rationale. Have a podcast and a list of your own awards? Shoot us an email and we’ll add them below.

4Player Podcast

Brad
1. Dragon Age: Origins
2. Uncharted 2
3. Bayonetta
4. Clash of Heroes
5. Shadow Complex

David
1. Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
2. Bionic Commando
3. Little King’s Story
4. Pictobits
5. Resident Evil 5

Joseph
1. Dragon Age: Origins
2. Demon’s Souls
3. Bayonetta
4. Resident Evil 5
5. Borderlands

Nick
1. Borderlands
2. Uncharted 2
3. Modern Warfare 2
4. Assassin’s Creed II
5. The Saboteur

BMI TV

Simon DI:
1. inFamous
2. Uncharted 2
3. Killzone 2
4. Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
5. Forza Motorsport 3

Pat Preezy:
1. Uncharted 2
2. MLB 09: The Show
3. God of War Collection
4. WWE Smackdown 2010
5. NBA 2K10

CAGCast

CheapyD: Red Faction: Guerrilla

Wombat: Fallout 3

Critical Strike

Kyle:
1. Dragon Age: Origins
2. Fallout3 DLC
3. Pokemon Platinum
4. Dawn of War 2

Josh:
1. Street Fighter IV
2. Uncharted 2
3. Shatter
4. Punch-Out
5. Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection

The Digital Cowboys

Alex: Uncharted 2

Tony: Uncharted 2

Drunken Monkey Tech

Winner: Borderlands

Runner-up: Beatles Rock Band

Gamer Dork

Xibxang: Batman Arkham Asylum

Ratso: Beatles Rock Band

Noobtoob Modcast

Sunflower
1. Street Fighter IV
2. Demon’s Souls
3. Batman: Arkham Asylum

Jam
1. Uncharted 2
2. Dawn of War II
3. inFamous

Locke
1. Demon’s Souls
2. Batman: Arkham Asylum
3. Dawn of War II

Player One Podcast

Greg Ford
1. New Super Mario Bros. Wii
2. Uncharted 2
3. GTA: Chinatown Wars
4. Assassin’s Creed 2
5. Batman: Arkham Asylum

CJ
1. Uncharted 2
2. The Beatles Rock Band
3. New Super Mario Bros. Wii
4. Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time
5. inFamous

Greg Sewart
1. Uncharted 2
2. GTA: Chinatown Wars
3. Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time
4. Need for Speed Shift
5. Batman: Arkham Asylum

Phil
1. New Super Mario Bros. Wii
2. Batman: Arkham Asylum
3. Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time
4. Tales of Monkey Island
5. Pokémon Rumble

PSNerds

Pete:
1. Uncharted 2
2. Sacred 2
3. God of War Collection
4. Demon’s Souls
5. New Super Mario Bros. Wii

Billy:
1. Uncharted 2
2. Dragon Age
3. Sacred 2
4. Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time
5. Borderlands

The Rumble Pack

Kaz:
1. Forza 3
2. Modern Warfare 2
3. Uncharted 2
4. Assassin’s Creed 2
5. League of Legends

Tony:
1. Assassin’s Creed 2
2. Uncharted 2
3. Modern Warfare 2
4. Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time
5. Demon’s Souls

Justin:
1. Uncharted 2
2. New Super Mario Bros
3. Street Fighter IV
4. Punch-Out
5. Pixeljunk Shooter

Tom :
1. Assassin’s Creed 2
2. Dragon Age
3. Uncharted 2
4. Batman: Arkham Asylum
5. Retro Game Challenge

Some Other Castle

Leah: (in no particular order)
Borderlands
Batman Arkham Asylum
Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story
Uncharted 2
Star Ocean

Elaine: (in no particular order)
inFamous
New Super Mario Bros. Wii
Street Fighter IV
Borderlands
Assassin’s Creed 2

TQ Cast

Desz: Uncharted 2

Juice: Uncharted 2

Video Game Jocks

Vinny: Modern Warfare 2

Paul: Modern Warfare 2

Nick: Modern Warfare 2

Davide: Uncharted 2

]]> http://thefanboys.com/2010/01/07/2009-games-of-the-year%e2%80%94so-say-indie-podcasts/feed/ 6 http://thefanboys.com/2009/05/21/podcasters-favorite-podcasts/ http://thefanboys.com/2009/05/21/podcasters-favorite-podcasts/#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 01:25:21 +0000 mik http://thefanboys.com/?p=516 Cast Medium is in the middle of a multi-part series, wherein they ask some popular podcast hosts to share their personal favorite ‘casts. It’s a pretty nifty little series of interviews, and a nice way to discover some new shows that you may not have stumbled across before.

Their latest installment features Chris Johnston (CJ), host of the Player One Podcast, former EGM editor, and current games producer for Adult Swim. And, in a delightful turn of events, CJ lists Ye Olde Fanboys Lunchcast among his three favorite shows. Being name-dropped by anyone is pretty darn cool. But being name-dropped by one of the hosts of the podcast that causes you to click “refresh” in your iTunes window every Sunday like a smack addict aching for a fix–well that’s just gratifying beyond measure. Many thanks to CJ–And if you haven’t listened to P1P yet, it’s time to get your ass over there!

To celebrate the looming civil war that will no doubt be the ultimate result of the 2008 election, we’re giving away 10 beta keys for the Tom Clancy’s EndWar VIP beta. Be among the first ten warmongers to comment here, and it’s yours. Just post your Xbox 360 gamertag, and we’ll send the code to you over Xbox Live. Good luck–and paint “Sooch wuz here” on one of your nukes, would ya?

When I came home with my shiny new Xbox 360 waaaaaay back in 2005, one of my favorite features of the console was the dashboard. The blades were an amazing leap from the clumsy interface of the original Xbox, offering all sorts of expanded control, options, and content that I didn’t even imagine in the previous generation’s hardware.

But nothing lasts forever, and after a few years of noble service, the Xbox 360 dashboard is really starting to show its age and, worse, its limitations. You can find hints of these shortcomings in Microsoft’s recent actions. The back-to-back May announcements of no Spring update and the delisting of selected Xbox Live Arcade titles suggested larger issues. Even the comments made by Microsoft executives on the topic were telling—like when Xbox Live GM Marc Whitten said of the decision not to offer a Spring dashboard update that they were instead:

“building the proper infrastructure and scale for the service.”

Or when Aaron Greenberg commented on the delisting of Xbox Live Arcade games:

“I think that we are not, I would say…happy with the ability to find and discover content as easily as we’d like for consumers to be able to do that.”

So, Microsoft acknowledges the problem. Is there a solution? I think so. Lots of them, actually. We’ve spent some time on our recent podcasts talking about the need for a dashboard 2.0. I decided to take it a step further, look at what exists currently, and suggest some ways to improve things—yes, for Microsoft—but primarily for Xbox 360 users.

*note: I’m in no way imagining that what I propose below is the solution, or even necessarily a solution. My point, instead, is that solutions exist—and we need ‘em.*

Examining the 360 dashboard as it looks today

I started by dissecting the current dashboard, breaking it down into four main color-coded components: gold user space (your gamercard, messages, etc.), blue interactive space (menus, buttons, and the like), red advertising space (the real estate Microsoft is using to ply their wares), and purple unused space. Chopping it up that way looked something like this (click any screen below for the 720p version):

Rearranging those fields demonstrates one of the dashboard’s chief problems for an Xbox 360 user:

When I fire up my console, I don’t want to be greeted by the Xbox 360 dashboard. I want to be greeted by my dashboard. So why is my share of the screen the smallest by far? I suppose you could argue that you can buy themes to adorn the blades as well, but they get completely obscured by both the interface and, more egregiously, the advertising. I’d rather not see advertising on my dashboard at all, but I’ll address that later.

The amount of unused space is alarming as well. As a graphic designer, I fully understand the importance and function of white space, but what exists in the current dashboard isn’t really that. It’s just . . . dead. Those pixels could be put to much better use. I’m certain that some measure of this is due to their desire to create an interface that is 4:3 SDTV-friendly—and that’s an admirable concern. But I think it’s a bad idea to hinder the experience of a high-def owner. If anything, the interface should be designed for widescreen HD and scaled down to accommodate those poor, unfortunate 480i souls.

So, what would you do, smartypants?

Acknowledging that I’m not a particularly technical person (I’m sure all this is a real pain to implement in reality), it still occurs to me that there are some relatively simple fixes that could result in a much better user experience from the dashboard. So I pulled the existing dashboard apart and reassembled it—while trying to maintain the look and feel of the 360 dash—to reflect some of the features I think are must-haves in a revised console interface. Here’s a look at a possible redesigned dashboard:

Some of the added features you’ll notice right off the bat include

• a search function—both to search what’s on your console and on the Marketplace. I know it’s a pain to type with the controller, but I’d still wager I can fumble around the d-pad to spell “Precipice” before I can navigate to Penny Arcade Adventures using the blades.
• hot keys—navigating the dashboard uses primarily the A, B, LT, and RT buttons. It would be nice to be able to assign X, Y, LB, and RB to specific functions in the dashboard or Marketplace, like bookmarks in a web browser. For example, if I like to check what’s new in the Marketplace every week, I could map that to the X button and jump right to it. Or if I want to go straight to my XBLA games, I could map that to the Y button and forget about moving through a number of screens to find them. As shown in this example, I’ve just mapped them to the other blades on the main dashboard.
• disc tray detail—the PS3 lets you see a nifty little video icon to show what’s in the system. I’d settle for some box art or one screen, along with some details on my progress in the game.
• reversal of ad and user space—in this example, the dashboard would be dominated by my content with a larger, clearly visible wallpaper or theme, and a bigger gamerpic. I’ll relent and say that there could be some advertising on the dashboard, but I’d limit it to a standard web-size banner ad and the Inside Xbox feature with rolling updated headlines, because I’d hate to miss out on Major Nelson awkwardly staring into the camera.

This division of space makes more sense to me. It feels more like my dashboard and less like an advertising platform I have to wade through to play my games. Mapped out as previously done with the existing dash, it looks like this:

Again, rearranging those fields yields this:

A much better, and more appropriate balance. It’s worth mentioning that this approach also yields basically no wasted space—it’s all been reclaimed for the user. ¡Viva la revolución!

Is that all you got?

Not exactly. I haven’t given extensive thought to every blade (I question my sanity for doing this much mucking about, fer chrissakes), but I did also spend some time thinking about what features the Marketplace needs to serve me better. Here’s a peek:

Some of the added elements here that would make shopping much more handy are

• user ratings—Microsoft has often talked about XBLA (and XNA) becoming “the YouTube of gaming.” Content on YouTube lives or dies based on user ratings. That same law should be applied to XBLA—anyone who has purchased the full game should have the chance to rate it. Frankly, I’d be more comfortable seeing a game get delisted as a result of lousy user ratings than I would as a result of lousy Metacritic scores.
• better sorting—I think a number of sorting options would aid my shopping experience immensely. Let me sort by date, user rating, alphabetically, etc. Also, make it easy for me to see what’s free on the Marketplace.
• show me the money—I want to know what a game costs without clicking to its page to find out. Similarly, I’d like to have my points balance on the screen at all times, not just when I’m preparing to buy something.
• ok, NOW advertise—once I’m in the store, I’m fair game. You wanna load up the Marketplace with a wall of ads? Do your worst. Just keep it away from the other blades.

With E3 only a couple weeks away, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we’ll see a revamped dashboard from Microsoft for the Xbox 360—one that is more focused on me, and less on them. What would you want from “dashboard 2.0″? Drop us a comment and let us know. And if you want to spread the word (and the love), digg it.

Update: We recorded the show a day early this week, and it wouldn’t be fair to select a winner a day before the stated deadline. So, you now have until our next episode—May 30th—to submit your entries (or refine the ones you’ve already submitted).

As mentioned in our latest episode, we’re giving away a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV for your platform of choice. All you have to do is share your best Tales from the G-string story with us. (For those who tune out when Sooch gets graphic, that means an anecdote of debauchery that takes place in a strip club, brothel, or other business of ill-repute.) You can submit them as a written story, an audio recording, a YouTube video—hell—we’ll accept an interpretive dance. Just keep in mind they’ll be judged by the man himself, so be creative and do your best to raise his eyebrows. Submit your entries to feedback@thefanboys.com by Friday, May 16th.

Good luck, perverts!

Looking to dip your toe into the shark-infested waters of 360 hardware? Already have a 360, but you want to roll, Sooch-style, with a console for every room of the house? Well, here’s your chance to win one in what has to be the easiest contest on the ‘net.

All you have to do is tap out a brief forum post (minimum 100 words) explaining your irrational—but completely platonic—love for Platform Nation. That’s it. All the entries will be judged by head honcho, Steve519, who will base his decision on equal parts creativity and spelling (no comment on grammar, so maybe no have be good long as right spelling make). The winner scores a brand-spankin’-new Xbox 360. And one runner-up will receive a Halo 2 Collector’s Edition, signed by the band Incubus. Plus—The Fanboys will be awarding a very special, as-yet-unnamed prize (but better than Undertow, for fuck’s sake) for outstanding use of the word “defenestration.”

Make your post here.

Good luck!

Anyone who’s played World of Warcraft knows the feeling of fascination—and embarrassment—that comes from typing the /played command to see just how much time you’ve frittered away slaying murlocs. Well, Xbox 360 owners have a similar source to see their shame laid bare.

It’s called The Live Eye and, once you’ve signed up, it tracks everything you play—retail games, arcade games, demos, betas, even the time you’ve spent downloading content from the Marketplace (which can be truly scary). I signed up in April of this year and check out my profile pretty regularly. Sometimes it’s shocking how much time I’ve sunk into games I don’t really even like. Check them out, sign up, and post your profile here if you’re man enough to admit you’ve spent four-and-a-half days soaking in the awesomeness that is Bionicle Heroes.

One of our favorite gaming podcasts (just check the links on the right side of our page) is celebrating their one year anniversary. Yeah, we started before them—but they’ve only recorded twice as many shows as we have. Seriously, an independent podcast recording 52 weeks without missing an episode? These cats are the iron men of internet nerd radio. So, congratulations to CJ, Greg, Phil, and Dave. And thanks for the entertainment.

You can check out their 52nd episode here (though I’d recommend you just hit the iTunes store and subscribe)

If you were Sooch’s boss, you might contend that bringing in a Halo 3 Edition Xbox 360, hooking it up, and playing it during work would be the most disturbing thing about this image. But you’d be wrong.

Keen-eyed viewers will catch the truly troubling part of this candid workplace moment. It’s right here:

Yup—he’s playing Madden 08 at the office. And yup—the game is paused and zoomed in on the ass of a bent-over San Francisco 49er.

Sometimes “WTF” just doesn’t cover it.

The bad news: We had to postpone the internet’s most-anticipated podcast because Sooch, in his own inimitable fashion, decided to camp outside a West Valley City Gamestop for four long days in anticipation of the McFarlane-designed Halo 3 controllers.

The good news: He was the first (and only) person in line and managed to get one! (we’re told by sources close to the family that the object in his right hand is a churro and not, as was previously reported, a deep-fried donkey boner)

Other good news: We’ll be back soon!

However, unlike a real pecker contest (not that I would know), where the contestant members are always accompanied by a complete, occasionally attractive, human body, the Post Your Setup! pics are more commonly the equivalent of taking a glorious John Holmesian schlong—and stapling it to a two-by-four. Because, while gamers appear to have come to terms with spending two grand on a kick-ass HDTV, that’s more or less where the “Setup!” portion of “Post Your Setup!” ends.

Here, collected for your perusal, are a handful of the incredible setup pics Sooch gathered on a recent stroll through the interwebs (before winding up at realdoll.com, contemplating the wisdom in purchasing a $7,000 silicone vacation home for his knob):

The 32″ LCD was a bargain at $1,200, but Pier 1 wanted a fortune for the table. I think the barstool looks better anyway. Besides, everyone knows rattan has the tensile strength of steel.

“It’s so thin, you can hang it on the wall” sounds great in the store. They forget to mention that you still have to, like, plug it in and shit. Oh, and please remember to wipe your feet on the rug before changing the disc. kthx

If these walls—or, well, this wallpaper—could talk, I’m sure it would say, “I just can’t bear to watch another date rape.”

I can’t make it on a couple of high-altitude frags once or twice a year! You are too much for me Fenix, you son of a whoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.

Er, um, you know what? On second thought, I’m going to pass on attaching a snarky comment to this one. *shudder*

Of course, there are always those who, like the 65-year-old guy in the locker room, aren’t a bit ashamed to show off their sad, flaccid appendages too. Even in the midst of all these 40+ inchers and massive Ps (some up to 1080!), they’ll peek out from behind the towel to show you how the other half-foot lives.

Am I begging for an earthquake? You’re goddamn right I’m begging for an earthquake!

Honestly, if you’re going to play Perfect Dark Zero and Kameo, a 13″ Orion seems like the appropriate television. Just be sure to record your best performances on that—whattayacallit?—oh yeah, VCR.

What’s the perfect furniture selection to complement this rather exotic arrangement?

Exactly—a piss-stained couch, a splintered plank, and a rug that hasn’t seen a vacuum since the Hoover administration.

Those are some of our favorites. How about you? If you encounter any noteworthy setups on your travels, feel free to post a link here, send us a pic at setups@thefanboys.com, or digg this article.
Until next time…

You stay classy, internetz!

Illustration “inspired” by one hilarious photo of the Penny Arcade chaps.

By all accounts, 2006 was a banner year for video games. Two brand-spankin’ new systems launched, existing consoles and handhelds started rolling out their second-generation titles and loads of new functionality, and, generally, the triple-A titles flowed like water. Yet, while everyone else is predictably compiling their “Best Darn Games of 2006″ lists, I’m struck by an entirely different development in gaming that was much more significant to me:

2006 was the year it became more fun for me to listen to people talk about games than it was to actually play them.

Seems an odd thing to say for someone who’s been a bona fide video game junkie for almost 30 years now. Even so, the advent—and rapid proliferation—of gaming podcasts has given me an all-new obsession. Don’t get me wrong, I bought the two new systems (and most the triple-A games) and I’m spending an unhealthy amount of time sampling their pleasures. But, you know, as interesting as it is to play Zelda with the Wii’s innovative new control scheme, it’s orders of magnitude more interesting to hear a cadre of gaming journalists go 15 heated rounds about its merits and shortcomings.

Having a player full of gaming podcasts is like having a radio station tailored to you. In my case, that station is equal parts insightful commentary, candid opinions, inappropriate language, and a maddening level of fanboy myopia that can raise my blood pressure faster than conservative talk radio. I look forward to new episodes of my favorite ‘casts in much the same way one’s mother might anxiously await the night her “stories” are on TV.

So then, in lieu of yet another top games of the year list (which I still reserve the right to foist upon you), here are the five gaming podcasts, from my lineup of just over 30, that were the most significant to me in 2006. Note that I didn’t say they were “the best” or “the smartest” or “the funniest.” There are some of these I listen to expressly because they are none of those things. Try them out and let me know what you think (they’re all available through iTunes or their respective web sites):

5. XBL Radio Live on Live (episodes ending in “.5″)

Ever wonder what it might be like to talk to that prick that kept teabagging you on Xbox Live last night? That’s the (likely unintentional) theme of this podcast. The concept is really quite clever: the hosts round up a handful of Average Joes from the online service, set them all up in a game lobby, and cover the topics of the day—replete with the audio shortcomings you’d expect from such an endeavor. It usually turns out being a pretty telling slice of who and what you’ll find playing Gears, Halo, Rainbow, and [insert more games where you shoot people in the face]. Also offered on every other week is a standard “two-guys-reading-the-news” podcast, but the roundtables are the ones that really pique my interest. All the hosts are tried-and-true Microsoft fans—often using words like “we” and “us” when referencing Microsoft, much like a fan of a local sports team. They’re sort of otherwise casual gamers, as evidenced by their choices for game of the year: Gears of War (predictable), Geometry Wars (inexplicable), and UNO (uh… Christ, I have no adjective to describe that). Funny, scary, boring, revealing, interesting, infuriating stuff. Drinking game: take a shot of Jager and Red Bull every time you get skeeved out by the host’s voice, or every time the co-host says “dude.”

4. The 1up Show

Officially the closest thing you’ll ever find to a legitimate video game-related television program—yeah, I said it, fuck you, G4. It’s not Hollywood slick, but it is substantially more polished than you might expect, thanks to both the ingenuity of 20-somethings with video cameras/computers and the deep pockets of Ziff Davis. More importantly, it’s usually packed to the gills with game footage you haven’t seen anywhere else and plenty of chat about what you’re looking at. The loosely scripted format works most of the time, but some of the “spontaneous” discussions about games are pretty stilted. It also features one of the most insidiously catchy theme songs you’ll ever punch yourself in the face for humming. Drinking game: down a Cement Mixer on every gratuitous slow-motion, fade-out transition.

3. The CAGcast

Cheap Ass Gamer has always been a very useful web site—picture slickdeals.net for video game shoppers. Ever a terrific source for the best deals on games and gaming ephemera, the site is now also an excellent source of weekly entertainment with the addition of the CAGcast. One of the best things about this podcast is the bullshit-, bias-, and fanboy-free manner in which the hosts, CheapyD and Wombat, present information about games. Whereas the typical games journalism site enjoys the benefit of playing anything and everything for free, these cheap ass hosts are careful not to waste their money, or their time, on games that aren’t worth either. The two have a nice rapport and complement each other well. An added hook for this show is the fact that CheapyD lives and games in Tokyo. This gives the program a rather unique international perspective—particularly when, as was the case this year, new consoles launch. Drinking game: slam a Kirin every time Cheapy utters a dismissive “very nice” at Wombat.

2. Downloadable Content, The Penny Arcade Podcast

To call the appearance of these phantom podcasts sporadic would be an absurd understatement. They appear mysteriously at random intervals (they published two in March, four in April, one in June, one in September, and two in October) and with nary an announcement on their main page. But I get all kinds of excited every time iTunes taps me on the shoulder to let me know there’s a new episode. These are fly-on-the-wall recordings of Gabe and Tycho coming up with concepts for their latest strip. In addition to being a fairly fascinating look into the creative process, they also serve as hilarious commentary on the world of games. These two are wicked smart and wickedly funny—which makes for an entertaining ride. Even though they’re few and far between, the shows hold up to repeated listenings (I particularly recommend the episode titled “The Same As It Ever Was”). Drinking game: sip some Courvoisier every time Tycho “Shizzolates” a word.

1. 1up Yours

This show is pretty much my definition of what a gaming podcast should be: take four guys who play tons of games and know their shit, lock them in a room with some microphones and some booze, then let them go at it for a couple hours. It’s interesting to hear professional games journalists take the gloves off and really lay into a game, each other, the industry, etc. It’s the kind of thing you’ll never get from a magazine—it’s just too raw, dawg. Drinking game: take a shot of fine Kentucky Bourbon every time someone says “not so much” or “confirmed.”

Other gaming podcasts to round out your lineup could (and probably should) include:

Gamespot’s HotSpot and On the Spot – Jeff Gerstman is one of only a handful of reviewers I trust. His presence alone makes these worthwhile.

Player One Podcast – Former EGM editors Greg Sewart and Chris Johnston have started their own independent podcast. It’s fairly new, and very low-key—but solid.

EGM Live – Much like the 1up Yours podcast, with a different (and less entertaining, frankly) cast of characters.

GameTrailers.com Video Reviews – Nice, bite-sized review morsels delivered straight to your iPod.

Next Generation Podcast – Tends to be more focused on the business of games, but still contains plenty of interesting information. Has a little more international flavor, as it’s hosted on the other side of the pond.

PC Gamer Podcast – The panel seems to have a serious distaste for consoles and console gamers, but this is a good show nonetheless.

Xbox Live’s Major Nelson – Perfect for Microsoft sycophants and people who are looking for a reason to punch their iPod in the nuts.

The Fanboys Lunchcast – Well, duh.

At long last, Microsoft has revealed the über-secret rationale behind eschewing an HDMI connection for both their forthcoming HD-DVD player and their Fall, 1080p update. Are you ready to hear why?

Because you don’t want it.

Yup. After all the hand-wringing, flame-posting, and general malaise over Microsoft’s decision to allow 1080p only via component or VGA cables, it turns out that, nah, you don’t want that, sport. As my erudite and HDTV-savvy friend put it, “it’s as if he was Obi Wan waving his hand in front of us saying ‘these aren’t the cables you’re looking for.’”

In Microsoft astroturfer, Major Nelson’s latest podcast, he invited his “1080p expert,” Albert, to clarify their 1080p solution. Some of his comments were, to say the least, puzzling (and not just because he declared that 1080i was the same thing as 540p). Albert kicked things off with this one…

…every single 1080p TV we’ve seen has VGA input and supports 1080p through VGA…

I’m not certain how extensive the search was, but it sounds like it started and ended in his own den, considering that my own quick tour through 1080p compatible sets revealed that, while most did in fact have a VGA port, almost none supported 1080p through any connection other than HDMI. My aforementioned friend has about the sweetest TV I’ve ever killed zombies on—and he’s 100% shit out of luck with regard to playing his 360 in 1080p. HDMI only, baby.

Albert had some other gems to explain why there would be no digital cable offered…

…people weren’t really asking for HDMI…what people were pushing for was 1080p…

Jedi mind tricks, indeed.

But, my favorite soundbite had to be the one toward the end of the interview, where he proudly proclaimed…

…there’s nothing that prevents us from doing it…

So, here’s my question: if there’s no reason you couldn’t release an HDMI cable, and there’s a chorus of people clamoring for one—why not fucking release one? It would cost you ten dollars in parts and labor and you could sell it for $69.99 to eager nerds with more cash than brains all day long. Speculation across the interwebs is that the 360 is incapable of outputting a digital signal—thus, the all analog solution.

It’s curious that Microsoft would be releasing a 1080p update at all—given their position that it’s an inferior format for gaming. Back in a February podcast, Major Nelson had Tyler, an “HDTV expert” from Microsoft on to talk all about HDTV formats and why, at least for gaming, 720p was superior to 1080p. His reason? Because, for gaming, “60 frames per second is essential.” According to that expert, since bandwidth issues more or less constrained 1080p to 30 frames per second, you’d be far better off with the silky smooth 60 frames per second you can get playing games on 360 in 720p.

Someone better tell Cliffy B. Because the man tasked with delivering Christmas for Microsoft is on record as stating Gears of War is landing squarely at 30 frames per second—and that’s just where he wants it.

Taking this hard line against HDMI—unless, as I suspect, there’s a technological reason they can’t deliver it—smacks of the same type of corporate hubris Sony is so often accused of. However, when Sony got called to the carpet for removing the HDMI connection from their cheaper model PS3, they responded by putting it back in.

We’ll see if Microsoft can find a similar way to make it up to gamers. One thing’s for sure: whether they can or not, they’ll find an “expert” within their walls that can spin it their way on Major Nelson’s shillcast.

In the first year of a console’s release, every game gets a measure of attention that it would not normally enjoy later in that machine’s lifecycle. Even so, a dollop of controversy can’t help but bolster a game’s buzz, right? Case in point, Enchanted Arms—a by-the-numbers, turn-based, Japanese RPG that has increased its profile (at least in cyberspace) by the inclusion of a player-controlled character with a fairly uncommon twist. See, Makoto, a member of your initial party in Enchanted Arms, is unabashedly homosexual and has a thing for one of the other members of your party, Toya.

This isn’t merely speculation or inference. From the Enchanted Arms web site:

Atsuma and Toya’s classmate at Enchant University. Atsuma and Toya are his best friends. Makoto is openly gay and his friends like to call him the “yellow otomegokoro.”

For those that don’t speak Japanese, “yellow otomegokoro” roughly translates to “hairdresser.” OK, that part is speculation.

Now, Makoto is hardly the first gay video game character. In fact, gaygamer.net went so far as to compile a list of the Top 20 Gayest Video Game Characters (a list which has since been amended to add a few new names, including Makoto). It’s just that, back to the original statement of the post, every title to be released on the Xbox 360 right now is going to get an undue amount of attention. A brief trip around the internets is all that’s required to confirm that.

The response to the revelation of this character—aided in no small part by the appearance of this video—was fairly predictable. Trolling around various gaming message boards, it was easy to find threads which all carried the general sentiment, “I was interested in this game . . . until I saw that video.” Disappointing, but predictable nonetheless.

It wasn’t until I listened to the current episode of Cheapassgamer‘s CAGcast, however, that I really started mulling the topic over—especially in relation to some other recent game releases. In the podcast, host and site owner, David Abrams (aka CheapyD), drops a few opinions of that Makoto video:

…the gayest character in the history of media…

and

…why does he have to be so, SO gay?…

and, most interestingly

…I was offended by…the over the top gayness. Nobody is that gay.

I can understand having a strong negative reaction to the depiction of homosexuals as manifested by Makoto. The character is a complete stereotype of a gay man (though I can’t help wondering just how much more outrage there might be if one didn’t discover until the end of the game that an oh-so-straight-acting party mate was really gay all along). What baffles me, however, is how these same discussions—and indeed the discussion on that CAGcast—can shift to another title, Saint’s Row, with nary a mention of the myriad lousy racial stereotypes you encounter in that game.

Within minutes of starting Saint’s Row, you deal with a pink-suited pimp, drinking from a gold chalice, who beseeches you to “bring him back some of them fine bitches.” The dialogue and characterizations are every bit as stereotypical here as in Enchanted Arms. (why do they have to be so, SO black?)

So what gives? What are we to assume based on the different reactions to seemingly the same offenses against political correctness? Are gamers coming to the defense of gays and opposing these archaic, flamboyant stereotypes, while tacitly endorsing the racial stereotypes that are much more pervasive in games? Or are we just used to seeing these portrayals of blacks and hispanics, but only now being confronted with the possibility of a gay protagonist in a game?

In the end, I think video games are still, sadly, worlds apart from the level of sophistication present in other forms of media. All of these characters smack of the types of lazy, thoughtless depictions you’d see in early TV shows and old movies. Perhaps it will just take time before developers take story and characterization in games more seriously—it is a relatively young medium, after all. There are exceptions, and reasons to be hopeful, of course. But for every interesting, three-dimensional character in games (thank you very much for HK-47 and Bastila, BioWare), there are at least a dozen more Makotos. Which makes me wonder if Roger Ebert isn’t right about games after all.

Does that make me gay?

The basic idea is strong, as any PC gamer can quickly tell you: give players the tools to create their own skins, maps, images, et. al., and watch your product thrive. You’d think Microsoft would understand this as well as anyone, and that they’d be eager to leverage their system’s strongest selling point, its online connectivity and community, to make trading, sharing, and monetizing user content a hallmark of the 360. But they’ve been more or less silent.

Enter the users.

Project Gotham Racing 3, an Xbox 360 launch title, had an amazingly addictive and satisfying photo mode, allowing you to snap pics of your very best car porn in any of its meticulously renderend locales. Problem was, once you took the perfect photo, it was essentially stranded on your console. So much for leveraging that community. Well, that’s where the gamers took over. Resourceful little haxxorz figured out a way, using a memory card transfer kit and a homebrew app, to retrieve those images from their putty-colored prison and put them on their PC, or online, where they belong.

Seems Microsoft, or Bizarre Creations at least, is responding. A new photo contest for PGR3 offers players the opportunity to finally, legally, retrieve their photos for use online and on their PCs. I’m really eager to see the shots that come from this contest, particularly in light of what I’ve recently seen from the NCAA 07 community on the same topic…

NCAA Football 07 on the 360 also has a snapshot mode, which allows you to freeze the action, manipulate the camera, then take a photo that’s saved to your hard drive. Football fans are using a similar method to the PGR3 one described above to amass a collection of their own in-game pictures.

What’s truly unique and interesting about these photos is the degree to which they completely crush EA’s own marketing promotional screens. That seems crazy to say, considering the reputation publishers (not just EA) have for using doctored screens to promote their games. But it’s true. And I can prove it. Check out this pair of screens that appear on the official NCAA 07 site to showcase the 360 version:

Not bad. They’re competent, and they gave me just enough faith in the game to make me give it a chance. However, I was certainly heard to say such curmudgeonly things as, “I expected more on the 360 six months after Madden.” And you’d certainly expect more from the EA hype machine. Remember the infamous Madden 360 draft-day commercial?

So, imagine my surprise—and delight—to see a thread at Operation Sports, now some 40+ pages long, of users sharing their own in-game photos. And imagine my shock to discover that they’re not just of a similar caliber to those I’ve seen on the official site, they absolutely bury them. Honestly, some of these shots would make a Sports Illustrated photographer jealous and definitely demonstrate that user-created content can be a pretty damned exciting thing. Here are some samples to illustrate the point (along with attribution to the forum poster who captured the image):

This last guy, reverend_heat, could go ahead and release a book of his imitation sports photography right now and I’d buy it. You should really see the two dozen or so photos he’s posted over the course of that thread—if only to see them in their original, tasty resolution—unbelievable.

So, consider my faith in the future of user content high—through no doing of Microsoft, but rather the efforts of resourceful, obsessive video game fans, like you and me.

Now, bring on the Xbox Live Vision Camera . . . I can’t wait to see if the camera adds ten pounds to my genitals.

See, even though gamers are, technically, growing up, it seems we’re maintaining the emotional maturity of an average fourteen-year old. (a phenomenon Jon Stewart aptly captured with his proposed new game rating of “CMB: Child in Man’s Body”) Nowhere is that level of maturity more evident than on a stroll through a list of Xbox Live gamertags. I mean, honestly, how else do you explain paying a yearly $70 subscription fee to play video games online with the handle:

It would be different—perhaps even understandable—if these were rare occurences. Unfortunately, I don’t think the odds favor that theory. No, chances are becoming more and more likely that the people we met online in the past week are doctors, investment bankers, or FPS-loving pastors…

No matter. I’m frankly looking forward to the time when I can check my email and see “sent from the Blackberry of…

.”

They seem innocuous enough as you’re leafing through an issue of EGM on the can–a smattering of screenshots and some paragraphs of copy that no one will ever read, right? Well…read it. Because, as the saying goes, the devil is in the details.

You’re probably aware, as it is the stuff of internet legend, of the EA Spouse blog–wherein the wife of an Electronic Arts employee bemoans the state of labor issues within software’s 800 lb. gorilla. What you may have missed, however, was the settlement in April that resulted in EA shelling out approximately one assload of unpaid overtime. EA Spouse: 1, EA: negative $15 million.

So now, EA finds itself in a bit of a public relations pickle. Worse, they’ve got an HR issue to deal with–and it’s one that can’t be easily smoothed over by planting an EA Sports-logoed hoodie on every developer’s desk. Well, what if you could address both those problems and promote your upcoming games in the process? I think that would be the kind of thing referred to in corporate boardrooms as a “win-win”–and that’s no doubt how the ad agency pitched it.

OK then, back to the ads…

Each one features a “Creative Close-up” in the top right corner which lists the development team, development time, and a wacky little factoid (in the case of the NCAA ad, it’s the number of late-night pizzas eaten:4,160). Then each of those paragraphs of body copy talks about an aspect of the game from the point of view of a member of the development team. All of this is, fairly transparently, designed to send the message–to the industry, to the consumer, and to their employees–that EA does indeed care about its people. Awwwwwww.

Sorry, I’m not buying it. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been in the advertising/marketing business for close to 15 years now–in that time, I’ve had to sling my fair share of this type of damage control. Maybe my bullshit detector is on the fritz, though it’s usually pretty reliable. Or maybe I’m just the stereotypical jaded gamer. But, when I read these ads, some sort of internal translation device kicks in. I’ll demonstrate…

The NCAA ad says

Meanwhile, Florida grad Tom Vuong, an assistant producer, was supporting his school by pushing hard to get an important new feature into the game: the Gator Chomp. During NCAA 07 games at “The Swamp,” the Gators’ home stadium, the student section will periodically erupt into a mass of arms snapping open and shut.

But, for some reason, I read

Assistant producer Tom Vuong says, “I really hope fans get pumped up when they see the Gator Chomp…because I missed my son’s T-ball game to make sure it was implemented.”

In the Superman ad we get

It takes a documentary, produced every week by an in-house video crew, to help EA producer Jeff Peters keep track of the huge array of powers and attack combinations that the 140 developers working on Superman Returns: The Videogame have put together. “With a villain like Parasite, you may want to keep your distance,” he says. “You do something like grab a fuel truck, throw it toward him, then blow it up with your heat vision before it hits him.”

But I read

“We had some real framerate troubles when we introduced Superman’s heat vision,” says producer Jeff Peters. “Clearly, we couldn’t have that–so I skipped my father’s funeral to make sure everything was perfect. And, like I later told my mom, ‘he’ll still be dead when the game ships.’”

In the same ad

“Gamers can be so skeptical,” level designer Zach Wilson says. “I understand–I used to be those guys. That’s what motivates us: to prove to the world that we can pull it off.”

Go ahead and read that as

“True, it may have cost me my relationship with my wife. But as my boss told me: my contribution to this game will have a lasting effect on budget-priced game bins across the nation…and, it’s pretty easy to fill the void she left behind with hookers and porn.”

Depending on what site’s rumor mill you believe, Nintendo has designs to include the nunchuck controller, extra Wii remotes, and/or one of the panoply of not-particularly-fleshed-out “games” on display at E3 last month. The chief candidate that is almost always mentioned is Wii Sports. Seems a sound strategy to me, and a certain way to ensure that their declaration of “not more than $250″ means “$249.99.” But, as we ponder which of the glorious tech demos Nintendo will eventually bestow upon us for free, we can all be glad that some of their early pack-in game concepts have since fallen out of favor. Here then, presented for your consideration, are a few of those titles along with an early screenshot and some of the marketing hyperbole from the back of the box…

(many Bothans died to bring us this information)

This ain’t your daddy’s cucumber…

• Put the Wii remote through its paces with bread n’ butter combos and sweet counters.
• Wiggle, jiggle, and wriggle your pickle to the rhythm–or end up sliced.
• A dilly of a multiplayer mode: battle up to three friends in intense pickle-on-pickle action.
• Choose from over 40 licensed pickles from manufacturers like Vlasic, Heinz, Del Monte, Sam’s Choice, and more!

It’s a test of strength and endurance in this game based on the movie based on the radio show based on the droning of Garrison Keillor…

• The deadpan delivery of America’s favorite storyteller depends on you.
• Use the Wii remote to control the angle and distance of Keillor’s microphone. Keep it in the “Prairie Home Zone” or you risk losing the crowd.
• Screeching audio feedback from the Wii remote speaker lets you know when you’re nodding off.
• Over 760 hours of actual Keillor audio–that’s nearly two complete radio shows!

Circle up with three of your friends for the wildest party game ever–someone’s gonna catch it all!

• Test different grapples, twists, and tugs–be the first one to the finish line.
• Audio feedback from the Wii controller speaker lets you know when your grip and pace are on the money.
• Over 20 licensed tracks of “bow-chicka” music and dozens of exotic wood-paneled basements.
• Hundreds of creatures to collect and decorate!

(Not pictured: Sock Drawer Frenzy, IHOP Presents: Minimum Wage Fry Cook, and Andiron Extreme: The Red Hot Poker Chronicles)

There are two things you must know before we begin: 

1. I hate baseball. I hate almost everything about baseball. Scratch that–I hate everything about baseball. I won’t watch it. I won’t play it. My contempt for America’s pastime runs so deep, that in the long, hot months between the NBA Finals and the opening of the college football season, I can actually be found doing activities . . . outside.
2. However, I love Xbox 360 Gamerpoints. I love everything about them. I love the unmatched feeling of accomplishment I get when I see the little achievement indicator pop up–informing me that I am truly in a select group of elite and skilled gamers who have successfully spent four hours in front of their television, repeatedly pressing the “A” button in order to simulate 30 years of a Madden franchise and collect their 400 points. What a rush.

You might reasonably assume that the paradox described above, and the subsequent (and completely inevitable) rental of MLB 2K6 to harvest its sweet, life-affirming achievements served as the inspiration for this post’s title. You would be completely mistaken.

Oh sure, I rented the game. I held my nose, dialed down the difficulty, and soldiered through exactly nine innings of what has been roundly disparaged as a weak effort by 2K Games. An hour or so later, I had my 1,000 points of personal validation.

But a funny thing happened on the way to Fenway…

Sports gamers, of which I am one (despite my disdain for the boys of summer), have become accustomed to a certain type of musical accompaniment with their menu screens and stat perusal. If I tell you that these soundtracks go by names like “EA Trax” and “2K Beats,” you can probably imagine the type of music they typically contain.

So, imagine my surprise when I booted up the game and was greeted at the very first menu by the sounds of “Le Pastie De La Bourgeoisie” by Belle and Sebastian.

What. The fuck.

I can only imagine the amount of Pabst Blue Ribbon that spattered over the screens of shiny new HDTVs across the country when Johnny Sixpack got an earful of the music 2K elected to include in MLB 2K6. A quick trip through 2K’s forums confirmed what I assumed would be the sentiment:

This is def. one of the worst things about the game IMO. I HATE the Music. Its a bunch or screaming the only on i like is the 2K Theme Song every other sucks. Mabye its cuz i like Rap IDK but i hate the Music on this game.

Apparently, the kids aren’t respecting this wacky juxtaposition in any sort of “you got your chocolate in my peanut butter” kind of way. Not sure I blame them. Let’s take a quick gander at a sample of the artists represented in the game:

• Belle and Sebastian
• Pretty Girls Make Graves
• Mogwai
• Stephen Malkmus
• Yo La Tengo
• Pavement
• Interpol

Don’t get me wrong–I think all those bands are great. But, if the most “known” band on your slate of artists is Interpol, I’m not sure who you’re trying to appeal to. It’s as if they did some extensive market research and discovered that their ideal demographic was, well, me. An odd and unfortunate result, that, considering my first point of the post.

I actually spent a bit of time after playing MLB 2K6 trying to concoct a more unlikely pairing of game to music. I think I have two fairly solid contenders:

• 50 Cent: Bulletproof, with 8 original tracks by KD Lang, and
• Gary Kasparov’s Chess Challenge, featuring Cannibal Corpse’s “Fucked with a Knife”

Honestly, if professional sports followed MLB 2K6′s lead, I think we could soon expect to see arena player introduction mainstays like 2 Unlimited’s “Get Ready for This” replaced by Sufjan Stevens’ “A Short Reprise For Mary Todd, Who Went Insane, But For Very Good Reasons.”

Actually, I think that could get me to watch baseball…