An executive sits at the head of a rich mahogany table, his bald pate softly reflecting fluorescent light from above. His eyes twitch back and forth across the bright young faces before him–each one so eager to make a difference. His mouth slowly curves into a smile as his hands rise above the wood and move toward each other. He bites his lower lip and inhales through clenched teeth as his fingers interlace. “Convergence,” he says.

In the distance a plaintive moan is heard as a consumer falls to the ground in confusion.

Now Xbox gamers and PC gamers and Cell Phone gamers (WTF?) can finally come together. Live Anywhere is an integral part of the upcoming Windows Vista and, one can only assume, Windows Mobile. So what does this mean to you?

Here’s a handy list:

• If you are a PC gamer you get to destroy players who are stuck using a dual-analog control scheme with your vastly superior mouse/keyboard combo. (This assumes the game in question is a first-person shooter which given the platforms we are dealing with here is almost guaranteed.)
• If you are an Xbox gamer please say hello to the exploits and cheats that are sure to lay waste to what was once a fairly pure walled-garden service.
• A single login now lets you enjoy the Xbox Live community experience on multiple platforms. Have you always wanted to be called a faggot while working on a spreadsheet? Jump in.

The idea only goes downhill from this point.

“Start a game on Xbox, continue it on your phone. There are games that will work that way.”

What kind of terrible game? Could Geometry Wars, the poster child of Xbox Live Arcade, successfully be shoehorned onto a phone? No. But Gears of War could probably work as a text adventure. Get some T9 predictive input in there and all the pieces are in place for one hell of an experience.

Gears of War Mobile X-treme: Touchtone Armageddon (Sponsored by MTV)

You are in a post-apocalyptic room. Multiple portions of the surrounding walls have crumbled and collapsed using deformation maps. The segments that remain standing are covered in blood. It is very dark.

>Turn on light.

Sacktacular has signed in

The ambient light increases slightly as soft shadows fill the room. Volumetric dust swirls amongst the rubble. There is bump-mapping here.

>Look at bump-mapping.

Every surface in the room looks impossibly shiny and wet. You hear a noise.

Sacktacular: U R a 8===D

>Step forward.

It is a monster–possibly a zombie–definitely humanoid. His pronounced cheekbones and hammered gray skin show specular highlights. He is extremely muscular and has no neck.

>Shoot monster with gun

Arcs of blood gush everywhere. The skeletal animation system realistically renders each lifeless limb as your foe falls to the floor.

Sacktacular: That isa penis BTW

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 10th, 2006 at 10:43 pm and is filed under Microsoft. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.